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Zona libera Aici poti aborda orice subiect, in limitele decentei


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Old 25-07-2009, 18:31   #1
Monstru
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Default Poante, glume si alte hahaieli

Cum invata un italian sa mearga?

Impingand o roaba.

(banc american, de la inceputulsecolului trecut)
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Old 26-07-2009, 13:00   #2
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O mata si un cocos stau pe malul lacului; mata cade-n apa si cocosul rade.
MORALA: when there's a wet pus*y, there's a happy co*k!

Scuze daca e porcos, dar am ras cu lacrimi )
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Old 26-07-2009, 13:04   #3
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O veverita statea intr-un pom, si f***a o nuca.
Vine o alta veverita si intreaba :
-Are you F*ckin' crazy?
La care cealalta veverita...
-No, i am f*cking nuts.
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Old 29-07-2009, 09:27   #4
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Doi vecini discuta:
- Asculta, vecine! Cānd este ziua ta de nastere?
- De ce īntrebi?
- As vrea sa-ti ofer o perdea pentru geam ca sa nu fiu nevoit sa vad ce faci cu sotia ta dezbracata.
- Aha... si ziua ta de nastere cānd este?
- De ce īntrebi, vecine?
- As vrea sa-ti ofer o pereche de ochelari, ca sa vezi a cui nevasta este cea pe care o vezi īn apartamentul meu...
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Old 29-07-2009, 17:07   #5
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Hehehehehe!

EDIT:
Ca sa vedeti ca nu e bull manure, uitati aici link-ul de pe site-ul Ministerului Finantelor
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Old 29-07-2009, 17:10   #6
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Incredibil =))
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Dacii, cand se uneau, erau de neinvins...
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Old 29-07-2009, 20:30   #7
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- John?
– Yes, sir!
– Adu-mi, te rog, pianul.
– Vreti sa cantati la pian, sir?
– Nu, John... dar mi-am uitat tigarile pe el si nu vreau sa te deranjez pentru un fleac.
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Old 29-07-2009, 21:19   #8
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In `88 suna militianu care se ocupa de garda la nea` Nicu acasa, la Icral. Vine omu` in 2 timp si 3 miscari:
- Tovarasu` vrea sa punem aici un tablou!
Dupa 20 minute de chinuiala vine lucratorul:
- Tovarasu` militian, pe asta trebuie sa il impuscam!
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Old 02-08-2009, 23:21   #9
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Old 03-08-2009, 13:35   #10
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Un psihopat tragea dupa el o fetita, noaptea, printr-o padure intunecata si deasa.
Fetita ii spune: Mi-e frică! Mi-e frică!
Psihopatul o linisteste: Da’ mie, ca ma-ntorc singur!?

)))
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Old 03-08-2009, 19:24   #11
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Dictionar status Yahoo Mesenger RURAL

Īn prispa=online
Sunt la prashit=busy
Plecat la oras=stepped out
Īmi bat nevasta=be right back
Iesit la poarta=not at my desk
Mi-am luat mobil=on the phone
Sunt cu vicleshug=invisible to everyone
Doborāt de bautura=offline
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Old 04-08-2009, 14:41   #12
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La toti nervii care ii am de la clienti idioti care suna pentru toate porcariile, ati reusit sa ma inveseliti Am ras cu lacrimi...Foarte tare...
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Old 05-08-2009, 10:57   #13
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An arabian at the airoport:
- Name?
- Abdul al-Rhazib.
- Sex?
- Three to five times a week.
- No, no... I mean male or female?
- Male, female, sometimes camel.
- Holy cow!
- Yes, cow, sheep, animals in general.
- But isn't that hostile?
- Horse style, doggy style, any style!
- Oh dear!
- No, no! Deer run too fast !
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Old 05-08-2009, 11:21   #14
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Patru amici, toti patroni de firme, se intalneau saptamanal la o partida de golf. Trei dintre ei erau deja pe teren si-l asteptau pe cel de-al patrulea. Intre timp fiecare isi lauda fiul.
Primul zise :
- Fiul meu o duce foarte bine ! A inceput-o ca tamplar si acum e directorul unei firme producatoare de mobila. Are bani garla si chiar luna trecuta i-a luat iubitei o casa noua !
Al doilea :
- Fiul meu si-a inceput cariera ca vanzator si acum a ajuns patronul unui mare concern. Afacerile ii merg asa de bine incat in ultimele doua luni i-a facut iubitei cadou un Ferrari !
Al treilea :
- Fiul meu a fost curier si acum e director de banca ! Are o avere imensa ! De sarbatori i-a facut cadou iubitei un pachet de actiuni Rompetrol !
Cand a ajuns cel de-al patrulea amic pe teren l-au intrebat de fiul sau.
- Nu sunt foarte multumit de el ! De ani de zile lucreaza la un coafor si, nu de mult am aflat ca e homosexual ! Dar, trebuie sa recunosc ca se descurca destul de bine… De la ultimii trei iubiti a primit o casa noua, un Ferrari si un pachet de actiuni Rompetrol...
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Old 05-08-2009, 14:48   #15
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Old 05-08-2009, 16:45   #16
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Aia da treaba... =))

Asta e una din preferatele mele )

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Old 05-08-2009, 21:18   #17
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Meh Dedera fir-ar copii lu'....pastreaza decenta. Vrei sa pun o poza de hi5 cu fata ta extraodinara sa ne radem toti de ea?
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Old 05-08-2009, 22:34   #18
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Mie nu mi-e rusine cu ea. Pune. N-ai decat...
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Old 05-08-2009, 22:45   #19
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Terminati fratilor ! Ce ne certam si ne suparam atata pentru o poza amarata. Este vara ce sa facem ? Hormonii astia
Oricum astia s-au inmultit ca furnicile(asiaticii). Este bine ca s-a dat o lege in care se zice ca fiecare familie nu are voie decat la un copil (de ar face si cu tiganii aia asa tare bine ar fi),

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Old 06-08-2009, 14:34   #20
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Undeva prin Noua Zeelanda:

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